Everyday, someone we are interacting with has a million and one things they are worrying about. From the seemingly mundane, what will they think of me if I were this outfit to how they will care for their family if they lose their current job.
And well-meaning people may approach them and say “oh, don’t worry about it,” and then carry on the conversation talking about themselves.
- Will worrying change the situation or the outcome?
- Will worrying change your decision about the situation?
But even if the answer to those questions is no, you may still try to grasp onto worry because it may feel like it gives you control.
I’m too lazy to make a flow chart but here’s my approach to dealing with worry. It may or may not work.
- Acknowledge to myself the thing that’s worrying me. That worry is a valid feeling to a bothersome thing in your life. I’m worried about x because…
- Is there a solution to “fix” or address the worrisome thing? Is the solution something I can control or within my power to do?
- What evidence is there that this thing I’m worried about will come to fruition? What evidence is there that supports that it will not?
- What are the things in my control that I can do? What steps will I need to take in order to do work on the things in my control?
And sometimes we just need to talk through our feelings with someone who is willing to listen and be there and maybe not always offer tips or advice. Sometimes we have to preface the conversation and say, “Hey I just need to vent a little, can we talk?” A conversation with the right person can leave you feeling so much better and reassured.
Sometimes we don’t have a person like that and that’s alright too. We have to be active participants in our own healing. I read scriptures and listen to affirmations because they often come back to mind in times of worry. It’s also okay to put down the burden of worry and enjoy yourself by participating in an activity you enjoy, casual reading, creative hobbies, socializing. And don’t feel guilty because you want to enjoy yourself a moment. Not enjoying yourself won’t change the problem will it?
Shifting your focus and putting the worry aside also gives you a chance to come up with creative solutions or figure out the answer to how to deal with the cause of the worry.
No one has all the answers, adulting is ghetto and yet here we are. Just putting one foot in front of the other each day. Be gentle with yourself because it’s okay to worry and have doubts and fears. We just have to find a way to work through all those feelings and not allow them to completely take over our lives.
How are you handling worry? Leave a comment because I can use more tips!